OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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