Don't you send me to vm
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
