All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
