Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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