It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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