I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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