How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize