Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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