Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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