I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
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if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
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I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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