Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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