Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
