It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
