i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
