I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
