We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
