so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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