I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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