Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize