My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize