I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My feet surprised me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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