god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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