They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
