Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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