no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
