We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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