she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
