Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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