1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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