at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
