That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
