He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
