I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
