What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
