So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
