I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
