True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
