Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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