i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
