I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
