So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
