I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make