I just made out with a guy for $7.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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