Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize