Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it

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  (978): Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it http://tfl.nu/f2y4
  Replies (10) Good night (1094) Bad night (667)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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  (678): well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list http://tfl.nu/inae
  Replies (4) Good night (2828) Bad night (802)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden

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  (443): My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden http://tfl.nu/by6o
  Replies (35) Good night (4875) Bad night (1450)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs

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  (860): letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs http://tfl.nu/yswk
  Replies (18) Good night (10723) Bad night (1336)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
  Replies (19) Good night (1783) Bad night (4083)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Are my feet made of real feet?

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  (740): Are my feet made of real feet? http://tfl.nu/dext
  Replies (17) Good night (5846) Bad night (1105)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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  (850): I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again. http://tfl.nu/731o
  Replies (10) Good night (1063) Bad night (1551)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

  (347): View more from New York

  he is a god among men.

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  (917): when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment. (917): Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles. (347): he is a god among men. http://tfl.nu/gmep
  Replies (52) Good night (7859) Bad night (1004)
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  (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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  (209): So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility http://tfl.nu/15q1
  Replies (7) Good night (1646) Bad night (984)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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  (978): I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once. http://tfl.nu/s0yn
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (639)
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  (209): View more from California

  I will pee on everything he values.

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  (209): I will pee on everything he values. http://tfl.nu/vmpd
  Replies (8) Good night (1335) Bad night (687)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (419)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis

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  (780): My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace. (780): I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD. (403): I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis http://tfl.nu/glgp
  Replies (3) Good night (639) Bad night (372)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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  (770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (465)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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  (251): So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"? http://tfl.nu/3mzm
  Replies (5) Good night (553) Bad night (361)

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