Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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  (203): I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche. http://tfl.nu/n3n6
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  (310): View more from California

  that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something

  (818): View more from California

  its my fault though, i'm wearing tights

  (310): View more from California

  you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap

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  (310): that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something (818): its my fault though, i'm wearing tights (310): you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap http://tfl.nu/15rb
  Replies (22) Good night (3358) Bad night (725)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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  (561): So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell? http://tfl.nu/0nz8
  Replies (44) Good night (7384) Bad night (1006)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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  (404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3
  Replies (12) Good night (5688) Bad night (525)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

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  (631): I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches. http://tfl.nu/ic23
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

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  (301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb
  Replies (20) Good night (3582) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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  (843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place. http://tfl.nu/9vyk
  Replies (36) Good night (1600) Bad night (6027) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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  (609): imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive http://tfl.nu/r061
  Replies (50) Good night (4038) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

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  (317): she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know. http://tfl.nu/4052
  Replies (16) Good night (1098) Bad night (5630) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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  (330): Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls http://tfl.nu/m4sw
  Replies (22) Good night (727) Bad night (3750) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...

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  (503): Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night... http://tfl.nu/z9ky
  Replies (9) Good night (560) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum

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  (337): Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum http://tfl.nu/ae6k
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!

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  (419): So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me! http://tfl.nu/6u48
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's a hard toss up

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  (413): I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver (1-413): That's a hard toss up http://tfl.nu/wcmj
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