K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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