So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just invented taco cereal.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
