yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
