he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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