Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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