five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize