He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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