no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
