I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize