She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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