Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
