Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize