There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
