That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
