i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
