i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
