i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
