What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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