There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
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As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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