Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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