so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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