we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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