I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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