there's paper in my vomit.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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