that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
