So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
