Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
