Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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