And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
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All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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