So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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