being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
