He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
